Don't Try This At Home
by KatySummers
Summary: John loves how smooth Sherlock is. Hairless and hot. He tries to spice things up for Sherlock, hoping to make Sherlock happy, but it doesn't work out that well.


The first time it happened, Sherlock really didn't think anything of it. John had recently gotten over a cold, and had spent the whole day resting at home while Sherlock was researching in the mortuary. He had come home to John making tea, recently showered and in his long sleeved, silk button down pyjama set Mummy had gotten him for Christmas.

Sherlock wrapped his arms around his waist and planted slow, open-mouthed kisses down John's neck. His hand had started gravitating downward from John's chest, and just as his fingers had reached the elastic of John's pants, he had pulled out of Sherlock's arms and suggested watching a movie together or something.

The second time, that night as Sherlock got into bed after his shower, he found John in bed reading a book. Sherlock smiled to himself and crawled onto the bed and planted himself in John's lap. John sighed fondly and placed the book on the night stand and rested his hands on Sherlock's bare hips.

"Need something?" John asked sarcastically while trying not to stare at the detective's half hard cock right in front of him.

Sherlock only hummed and leaned down to kiss John hard. His fingers curled in the short sandy hair and John's hands came to rest on Sherlock's shoulders. Sherlock tired a few times to pull back so he could lick and bite at John's neck, but he had kept him in place, devouring his mouth, making Sherlock's prick stand at attention.

"John…" Sherlock mumbled against the lips still clinging to him for dear life. "John, I need…"

But Sherlock didn't get to finish his sentence because John had flipped him over quickly and was hastily licking his way down Sherlock's hairless chest toward his straining prick. John licked a stripe up the shaft, and then took the head into his mouth to taste the pre-cum beading and tease at the foreskin, making Sherlock jerk and moan loudly.

John set a brutal pace sucking, and licking up and down Sherlock's hard length, his head bobbing obscenely in between his long legs, pale fingers wrapped around his short hair. Sherlock tried to pull John off, feeling he was close, be the doctor didn't move.

"John… I'm close," Sherlock huffed, stomach muscles twitching as he tried to stave off his orgasm. "John… I'm going to…" John only sucked harder and bobbed faster, making Sherlock growl and moan long and low. John reached up and twisted one of Sherlock's nipples making him arch and nearly scream as he came hard down John's throat. John quickly swallowed and milked Sherlock dry before wiping his mouth and coming up to lay down next to him.

It was a minute before Sherlock made a move to dispose of John's pyjamas and return the favour, but John only batted his hand away, saying he way fine.

"Really, Sherlock, I'm not up to it," he said and Sherlock rose and elegant eyebrow at him, glancing down at the leaking bulge in the man's pants.

"Obviously," he said and John just huffed and rolled his eyes before burrowing into the duvet and closing his eyes. Something wasn't right, Sherlock thought as he threw his arm over John's middle before trying to get some sleep.

The third time that next morning Sherlock woke early, with John sprawled out next to him. He smiled to himself before turning and hovering over John. Sherlock leaned in close and planted a kiss right below John's ear before whispering, "John," into his ear and then continuing to place soft kisses all over his face.

John groaned and stretched, inadvertently rubbing himself against Sherlock in all the right ways. John opened his eyes once Sherlock made a tiny appreciative noise. Once seeing that Sherlock was once again preying on him he groaned and pushed the other man to his side of the bed. He knew something wasn't right, John loved lazy morning sex.

Sherlock huffed before saying "John," in a stern manner. "What is the matter? Obviously you're having some sort of hang up about being intimate with me at the moment, and I would like to know why without having to deduce it myself."

John groaned again, and huffed out a little laugh. "Sherlock, it's fine… really… I'm just not in the mood." He looked over at the detective kneeling next to him on the bed, hoping he would believe the blatant lie. He didn't. He gave John that look.

John covered his face with his hands before mumbling out something Sherlock didn't quite catch. "Sorry?" he said and John took a deep breath before moving his hands enough so he could quickly yell out, "ItriedtoshavebutIgotrazorburnanditlooklikeshitandhurts."

It took Sherlock all but a second to hear what John said and put together the pieces.

"Why would you do such a thing, John?" Sherlock asked softly.

John sighed and sat up, looking over at Sherlock with a bright red face. "You're all hairless and hot, so I thought that…you'd like it better if I shaved it all off…" Sherlock rolled his eyes, shaking his head.

"John, I'm naturally hairless. Besides, I'm almost jealous of you." At this John looked up. "I find you a very attractive man, and I feel I look like a prepubescent teenager with my lack of body hair."

John laughed out loud at this. "In no ways do you look like a little boy, Sherlock."

"Well, let's see it." Sherlock gestured to John's clothing once he was finished with his giggle fest. John's ears flushed pink before he began to slowly unbutton his top, slowly revealing bunches of angry red bumps on his chest.

Sherlock frowned and John lifted his hips to pull his trousers down. John's entire pubic region was covered in bright red razor burn and a few spots of dried blood where he had cut himself with the razor. Sherlock frowned looking over John's sore balls and between his cheeks. He got up and grabbed the cold aloe-vera gel from the refrigerator in the kitchen and made his way back to their bedroom where John was still lying naked on the bed.

He sat down next to the man before squirting some of the green gel onto his fingers and gently rubbing soothing circles over the burn. John gasped at the cold but didn't comment further. Sherlock took his time on John's chest before moving lower.

He carefully warmed the gel before rubbing gently over John's balls and between his cheeks. John winced slightly but was otherwise fine as Sherlock soothed his soreness.

The attention and slow strokes of his fingertips Sherlock was giving him slowly brought his prick to life. Sherlock smiled, but slowly ran his wet fingers over John's hardening cock. John moaned as Sherlock began his payback for last night.

He started slow and teasing with his strokes, but soon quickened his pace and tightened his grip until John was gasping and moaning. It only took Sherlock a couple dozen strokes before John grunted and came all over his hand, panting hard.

Sherlock wiped his hand off on the sheet, and laughed, "Don't try and shave again, John."


End file.
